163. Blue Night :: Conscious Dreamweaving

~ “I am the darkness that is the light and the stillness that is the dancing.” ~

Dearest Star-tribe;

I want to express my gratitude to you all for being a powerful grounding force in my life, as these e-transmissions comfort me in knowing that there are still connections and situations that are steady and unchanging amidst the fiercely extraordinary sensorial and perceptive experiences, and help me collect my thoughts to integrate new insights and abilities into an already existing schema.

It was another intense evening at the ashram.  There is a lot of talk about rainbow bodies and the super-natural capabilities of truly enlightened lamas.  I glance further down the rabbit hole and question how far down I’ve tripped, how much further I should go – if I have any say in the matter, and where is the most practical place to rest my being to be of maximum benefit to the upliftment and liberations of all beings.  I’m skeptical of the path within which the only way to achieve true enlightenment is by dedicating all my time and energy into a personal practice.  I feel strongly that it would somehow be a waste of a human body, as the only way to change things in the material world is through manipulating matter – eg. the technology that allow us to do things we normally wouldn’t be able to, like airplanes, refrigerators, computers, etc… The new-age higher-dimensional beings say that we are coming into a period of time where energies from space are activating the next stage of evolution in our human bodies, making it possible for us to acquire telepathy, teleportation, spontaneous healing through simply being in maximum health.  This is the reality that I want, thus believe in most, simply because I feel deeply in love and awe of my absolutely incredible body.  I’m in love with my senses, dancing, creek giggling across my feet, wind caressing my cheek sending cool sparkling trickles through all the rest of my body… The wholeness of joining in sacred union with another… It can’t possibly be that all in the material plane was created so that we can suffer and learn to escape it…

But this is a difficult belief to hold onto while hanging out with an incredibly high, joyous and soft-spoken yet knowing being such as a liberal and relaxed Buddhist nun somehow – as when I’m around her I doubt myself still and wonder if I should indeed be meditating on a mountain.

Today she told me the story of one of her empowerments: she was in a depleted state in both mind and body, and upon being empowered by this powerful lama, she was completely healed in all aspects, glowing in vitality.  I told her the story of my drug overdose on 4FA and poxy.  While I was very incoherent and puking in a bathroom stall, these beings appeared in saucers in another spacial dimension and directed a red laser in both my eye-balls, used space to shift my body for a few moments, flashed a smile then disappeared.  I took a 30 minute nap and upon waking I was in perfect health, activated and dancing.  We both agreed that it was a similar experience.

In the later evening, Skye and I did a short Dzogchen practice that was surprisingly powerful, immediately after which I began to rapidly and effectively release thought-patterns, fear and other emotional blockages.  My reluctance in falling solely into traditional spiritual practices still exist due to its secrecy, forms of transmission and the belief that enlightenment could only be attained during death, and that it should be the only path to the light.  The powers and effects of practice are indisputable – the mission is in discovering the simplest, most effective practice – and even more so the unleashing of each individual’s inner highest self allowing the most enjoyment.

In my personal experience, all activations and clearing has been obtained through dancing, psychedelics, communication between consciousness and body, communication with our local star, and spontaneous activations by space-beings.  Formal spiritual empowerment is a relatively new thing, and I’m excited to give it full receptivity.  Today I’m receiving a Red Tara empowerment from a lama in Santa Fe, followed by a new moon crystal toning with one magic school creator called Planewalker (yes that’s his psytrance DJ pseudonym.)  Energy streaming from the southwest to the power-spots and power-rangers of MTL!


Today’s energy is Blue Resonant Night – the energy of the blue night envelopes me with warmth and security, a space within which I’m free to imagine the most beautiful, magnificent scenarios and ways to bring them into fruition without apprehension in “possibility” and supposed material obstacles.  The dreamfield is our imagination, creating scenarios for attention to observe and create in our innerverse, thus also giving us a place to analyze and evaluate reality and the environment and social system within which we live.  Becoming a conscious dreamer is courage in believing in the wildest fantasies, and boldly striving forward with true creativity, being true to ourselves.  While the term “dream” most often refer to the phenomena of experience while asleep, the conscious dreamer realizes creation and manifestation of experience in “real-life”.

A suggested meditation for today: crawl into a safe-warm space and rest your body.  Imagine a dark, clear sky, moon and stars.  Imagine yourself between the sky and what seems like Earth, and begin to slowly shift your perspective down towards the Earth – the inhabitants of this Earth are of similar evolutionary development as us, but each and every person is joyful, creative, and individually unique, authentic, yet cohesive as community.  This visualization of this Earth lies super-imposed on top of the current reality of Earth, and between the two realities is Time.  Time and energy is the most effective way for material beings to manipulate reality… Daydreaming is an essential part of straying from old thought-patterns and experiential habits.  Allow yourself to imagine yourself as any being you please, filling your time and utilizing your energy in bringing our current reality into the one we imagine to be Heaven on Earth, for ourselves and all others.


Cosmic love & infinite bliss,

Xi 🐦


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