The full moon brings many waves of deep healing and un-expected learning experiences, realizations and integrations. I’m accepting more and more each day that the intentions and rituals performed by my Human are helpful to the surrendering and acceptance process but inconsequential to the unfolding of the divine plan of which I am simply a body vehicle surrendered to a higher power in Love and Trust. The relationship that my human conscious self and this higher presence now is that of consistent communication. I am being told each day to relax, to trust. To do my best in each moment to sustain a high vibration of Love and non-judgement.
The other morning I had a dream that I, the observer / first person actor in the dream, was an older man. I was having a sexual interaction with a young girl. There was a deep love and consent, and the young girl was witty and blunt. I made her orgasm too quickly and she became upset, she said that it felt like I was forcing her thus was in control more and she didn’t like that. I woke up feeling perplexed and slightly disturbed, pedophilia being the last thing I want to be involved in. I decided to meditate for a while on the significance of this dream. I closed my eyes and moved my attention through my body, noticing slight tensions in my lower belly. I asked my bodycomplex, why did I have this dream? Immediately an answer came – the young girl represented the human-body-memory-complex self doing her best to integrate this higher reality. The older man represents my higher conscious self driving the integration process as quickly and pragmatically as he could without much consideration for he flesh-mammalian feelings of the human side, thus leaving my flesh-human self feeling taken advantage of and neglected. This whole walk-in process is really far more complex and intriguing than I had previous understood.