127. Blue Hand ~ here time is linear

stopped fussing, stopped struggling, stopped trying,

be ~ be ~ be

went for a walk, made a bracelet, ate some fruit

suddenly all the timelines collapsed and

time is linear

just decide what you want to do right now.

Photo on 2016-04-25 at 3.14 PM


125. Red Serpent ~ Root is Manifestation

The full moon brings many waves of deep healing and un-expected learning experiences, realizations and integrations.  I’m accepting more and more each day that the intentions and rituals performed by my Human are helpful to the surrendering and acceptance process but inconsequential to the unfolding of the divine plan of which I am simply a body vehicle surrendered to a higher power in Love and Trust.  The relationship that my human conscious self and this higher presence now is that of consistent communication.  I am being told each day to relax, to trust.  To do my best in each moment to sustain a high vibration of Love and non-judgement.

The other morning I had a dream that I, the observer / first person actor in the dream, was an older man.  I was having a sexual interaction with a young girl.  There was a deep love and consent, and the young girl was witty and blunt.  I made her orgasm too quickly and she became upset, she said that it felt like I was forcing her thus was in control more and she didn’t like that.  I woke up feeling perplexed and slightly disturbed, pedophilia being the last thing I want to be involved in.  I decided to meditate for a while on the significance of this dream.  I closed my eyes and moved my attention through my body, noticing slight tensions in my lower belly.  I asked my bodycomplex, why did I have this dream?  Immediately an answer came – the young girl represented the human-body-memory-complex self doing her best to integrate this higher reality.  The older man represents my higher conscious self driving the integration process as quickly and pragmatically as he could without much consideration for he flesh-mammalian feelings of the human side, thus leaving my flesh-human self feeling taken advantage of and neglected.  This whole walk-in process is really far more complex and intriguing than I had previous understood.

124. Yellow Seed ~ Lightship Landing

“Z, you are the Star-Being Shaman Sun-Tribe Leader Earth-mother visionary. Believe in yourself & start acting like it!  This current project is a global lightship crystal energy emanation spell, a new social energy technology experiment and experiential research in releasing density & collective activation from true depth to galactic level activation.  All is in alignment for a collective coming together forming a Wellness Holistic Living Education Centre.  Manifest in Peace and Certainty.  Your body is yours for this lifetime, cultivate with respect and care.  It holds the healing key.  WE are with you.  WE love you.  WE are proud of you.  We water you and bless you with every step.  Have faith in your visions, you are the visionary and must trust your claircognizance ~ if you don’t then why would any other?” ~ Your Keepers & Friends Upstairs.

I’m sitting on a tall-stool in a rural-ontario town Ice-Rink watching my 11 year old brother play hockey.  The space is filled with nervous hockey parents unaware of their nervousness chattering about random mundanity – itching for love -itching for affection.  My perception begins to shift and the fabric of space into a shifting technicolour mesh, my spine erects and my gaze sharpens, I feel as if I move in slow-motion.  Inwardly a joyful, curious being, looking out the window of my eyes, checking out the humans standing in circles conversing.

I notice a distinct difference between my reaction to unactivated humans yesterday, and today.  In an exhausted, depressed and desolate state yesterday, I saw the compression and lack of freedom to express that these beings were experiencing and only became more depressed.  I thought to myself, gee, I really want to die – I don’t want to be here anymore. Their state scared me, it felt like Hell.  Their state a reflection of how I felt in that moment, trapped in a Hell that was my perception of reality in that moment, a vastly different experience to Today.

My eyes glaze over each person in this ice-rink, my energy gently tapping, pulsing over their Soul-star Chakra.  I feel their beings aching for love, aching for affection, aching for freedom.  I feel as if with a gentle push their souls would explode into kaleidoscopes of love in liberation, the amount of love their bodies were capable, the intense amount of compression present – just a little tap, and VOOOSH!  Expanding into rainbow love-beings, laughing Samsara into a distant past.  I see a potential moment in the future when these beings deep in conditioning share a moment of truth and present awareness with each other.  My heart over-fills with love and admiration for each being.  I remember the plan.

When the human is ready, all will manifest.

Humans are innately, naturally affectionate, loving kind and gentle creatures, needing physical affection and channels of creation.  The body is such an intricate hyper-complex and extraordinary technology deserving the highest respect, admiration and care.  In unawareness, technology and materialistic lifestyles created a strained alter-reality matrix.  All that’s needed to release this strain is to genuinely choosing to ponder the magnificence of existence and the human body itself, because only self-appreciation from the creator’s perspective sets a being free to be the creator.

I gulp at the grandiose plans they are conspiring upstairs.  I choose to remain collected in full trust, trying hard not to squeal like a little girl.  Earth is my Home.  And it is So.

122. White Wind :: A Spring Breeze

We are day 2 into the mystic column of the dreamspell day-counter, on the energy of White Overtone Wind.  I found several emails I wrote to some friends back home on my pilgrimage last year and realized I might end up in Taos again the same time of the mayan cycle this year!  I’m excited to compare the experience of my current self to that last year.  I’m excited to see all the growth I’ve accomplished and still further the lessons that must be learned.

179. Blue Storm ::Wave-X & Transformation

Dearest Star-Tribe,

I spent the majority of the 28th in bed, swimming in the energies that are raining down on us.  I think many people were expecting some sort of big event to happen, looking outwards for catastrophe, celebration or some sort of happening attraction.  After a 17 hour slumber, and a walk in the rain, I’ve returned to my nest paying good attention to how my body is feeling and perceiving, receiving.  It’s no coincidence that this wave of transformative cosmic energy lands on the day of Blue Storm, the day in which the electrical circuits of our bodies are rewired, reconfigured to hold more light, transmutating the negative blocked crystals of energy in our many layers of bodies into light.

To my understanding this wave of energy will continue to heal, cleanse and transform us for the years to come, reaching some point of completion in 2018.  The best thing to do around this time is to remain calm, though it may seem like nothing extreme is happening, strong energies are pouring in from the cosmos and our bodies are under immense pressure to adjust and transfigure!  Be kind to yourself.  You may have headaches, flu-like symptoms, pressures within your body,  take note of the parts of your body that are feeling discomfort and intentionally help your body heal these parts by sending healing comfort and heart-energy.  It may be worthwhile to fast for a few days giving the digestive system a well-deserved break!  Fasts are especially helpful during this time of cleansing as the body will use or release any sick, toxic cells and wastes.  Digestion uses 60% of the body’s energy and is a process that rarely gets a break!  You’ll find that you’ll have even more energy than usual, especially during the first day, after the first 3 days.  Lemon water and green juices are recommended, fruits that are acidic and high in sugars are not recommended during a cleansing fast.

The world is a place of magic and splendour.

The ascended Earth is upon us.
She’s waiting for us to waken from our deep slumber, and clean up the mess that older generations have created in the Earth and our collective psyche, though not in vain!  I say between having to work hard to de-condition ourselves now and having technologies and science, or still living in hunting and gathering societies, I would have wanted the comfort and efficiency of technologies – I think it was all worth it – if we can successfully bring the collective back from our temporary amnesia.
Cosmic love & infinite bliss,
Xi 🐦

Baba’s Blessing, A Seed Blossoms

Dearest Friends,

I absent mindly, while kicking and screaming about how powerful the energies these days are, forgot that my own day might get really interesting… Well shortly after booking my bus back to Montreal, I went to the Ashram and sat by the creek in the Merry Gardens.  On my way there I held only one prayer in my mind, and that is for a smooth journey home without delays by greyhound.  Once there, I smoked some weed, and entered a watery, glittering, cartoonish reality.  I’m met by a man with speckled white hair who began to animatedly tell a story: “I had a really vivid dream just now, I just got up from a nap, it’s the first hanuman dream I’ve ever had!  In my dream I was taking Ananda to the bus station.  I kept telling her that we were gonna make it.  It’s Hanuman’s bus and it’ll take you to where you need to go, smoothly and safely!  We get on the bus and it goes, when we open the door we were in Canada! I yelled: “Hey look, we’re in Canada!”. I just kept telling her, the bus was Hanuman’s bus and it was gonna take you there!  But we went to Canada! How peculiar!”
I stared at him wide-eyed: “I had just booked a bus to Canada, and was just praying for smooth sailing moments ago!”  He ran over in ecstatic joy and gave me a high-five.  Jai!  That’s how things work around here!
He ran off after his cigarette, and a young guardian of the temple, Greg, remains smiling contently at a plate of food he held in his hands.  He looked over at me, I say sweetly: “You know, this is the best self-organizing space I’ve ever experienced.  What’s the deal?”  He smiles gently: “Well, you know when two people meet, their energies combine into a new thing or space that is is uniquely that.  When a group of people come together with a similar vision, intention, all connected to all that is and the grand intention / field, then an interesting thing begins to happen.  I believe that the universe is constantly interacting with us, through everything, it’s just that most of the time we aren’t paying attention to receiving its messages.  I told him briefly about La Plante and orbiting pods, this seeming state of transition for the organic living energetic community of people surrounding the space, that the Plant seem to be a spirit organizing and manifestating itself through time, and the humans surrounding the spirit are beginning to love each other in deeper ways.  He calmed relays: “You know when a space of one vision / intention goes a period of time in a certain energy or way, when the time of transformation comes residual habitual feelings remain.  The best thing to do would be a ritual, a celebration of the individuals involved in the intentional community and a rediscovery and reminder, empowerment and renewal of the vision!”  He smiles brightly, like a monkey, he finished his food, he handed me a chalisa CD.   I felt the spirit of the Ashram so strongly, Baba was giving us a blessing!
By this point I was overflowing with contentment and excitement, I couldn’t hold back my giggles of happiness the whole way to the main Ashram building, I found a table in the library and sat down to journal.  On the table I see a very small green cricket, I exclaim: “Oh, how cute!”  An angel a meter away looks up from her book and joins me in the admiration of this cricket.  I pull our Owen’s camera and she comes and sits beside me.  She opens her book and asked me to take a photo of a quote she was reading so I can send it to her, it’s George Washington’s farewell address.

~ “It will be worthy of a free, an enlightened, and at no period a great, nation to give to mankind the magnanimous and too novel example of a people always guided by an exalted justice and benevolence. Who can doubt that, in the course of time and things, the fruits of such a plan would richly repay any temporary advantages which might be lost by a steady adherence to it? Can it be that provenance has not connected the permanent facility of a nation with its virtue?” ~

I realize that this was the initiation of America, the guiding intention for this budding community, country, on Earth.  Capitalism and Materialism are tests, and we are remembering that freedom and happiness are our birth right.

The recent ugly affairs, city pestering the Plant about our garden, and the city dismantling a lovely communal space created by the residents who live there to enjoy in daily life, without warning and with conviction, has stirred up much disappointment, sadness, but invigoration.  The unfortunate connection in a microcosmic scale of this event to colonization and asserting power over native peoples is apparent yet subordinate to the terribly upsetting realization that this is a fine reminder for all citizens to realize that society, or the governors of society, have forgotten the essential aspects of Life – love, joy and happiness.

Her name turns out to be Micaela, I think of the Archangel, she definitely glowed like one.  She told me that in this moment she was saying anything Spirit wants her to relay to me: “age doesn’t matter, you can achieve what you want, don’t let your age create any doubt in you.  Trust in yourself, because you are there.  Receive miracles.  Nobody cares about grammar because what you transmit will be perfect to the the intended audience no matter what.  Baby crickets are harbingers of a sign – that a baby boy may be born soon.  Crystal children are being born, they are pure joy, pure love.”

So it becomes clear that a sanctuary, living community is to be birthed in Montreal, which were the visions had a year ago.  I met Rich so that I could be brought to Baba’s temple, and experience the experiential teachings, upgrades and activations.  This is my current understanding of the situation.


Xi 🐦

163. Blue Night :: Conscious Dreamweaving

~ “I am the darkness that is the light and the stillness that is the dancing.” ~

Dearest Star-tribe;

I want to express my gratitude to you all for being a powerful grounding force in my life, as these e-transmissions comfort me in knowing that there are still connections and situations that are steady and unchanging amidst the fiercely extraordinary sensorial and perceptive experiences, and help me collect my thoughts to integrate new insights and abilities into an already existing schema.

It was another intense evening at the ashram.  There is a lot of talk about rainbow bodies and the super-natural capabilities of truly enlightened lamas.  I glance further down the rabbit hole and question how far down I’ve tripped, how much further I should go – if I have any say in the matter, and where is the most practical place to rest my being to be of maximum benefit to the upliftment and liberations of all beings.  I’m skeptical of the path within which the only way to achieve true enlightenment is by dedicating all my time and energy into a personal practice.  I feel strongly that it would somehow be a waste of a human body, as the only way to change things in the material world is through manipulating matter – eg. the technology that allow us to do things we normally wouldn’t be able to, like airplanes, refrigerators, computers, etc… The new-age higher-dimensional beings say that we are coming into a period of time where energies from space are activating the next stage of evolution in our human bodies, making it possible for us to acquire telepathy, teleportation, spontaneous healing through simply being in maximum health.  This is the reality that I want, thus believe in most, simply because I feel deeply in love and awe of my absolutely incredible body.  I’m in love with my senses, dancing, creek giggling across my feet, wind caressing my cheek sending cool sparkling trickles through all the rest of my body… The wholeness of joining in sacred union with another… It can’t possibly be that all in the material plane was created so that we can suffer and learn to escape it…

But this is a difficult belief to hold onto while hanging out with an incredibly high, joyous and soft-spoken yet knowing being such as a liberal and relaxed Buddhist nun somehow – as when I’m around her I doubt myself still and wonder if I should indeed be meditating on a mountain.

Today she told me the story of one of her empowerments: she was in a depleted state in both mind and body, and upon being empowered by this powerful lama, she was completely healed in all aspects, glowing in vitality.  I told her the story of my drug overdose on 4FA and poxy.  While I was very incoherent and puking in a bathroom stall, these beings appeared in saucers in another spacial dimension and directed a red laser in both my eye-balls, used space to shift my body for a few moments, flashed a smile then disappeared.  I took a 30 minute nap and upon waking I was in perfect health, activated and dancing.  We both agreed that it was a similar experience.

In the later evening, Skye and I did a short Dzogchen practice that was surprisingly powerful, immediately after which I began to rapidly and effectively release thought-patterns, fear and other emotional blockages.  My reluctance in falling solely into traditional spiritual practices still exist due to its secrecy, forms of transmission and the belief that enlightenment could only be attained during death, and that it should be the only path to the light.  The powers and effects of practice are indisputable – the mission is in discovering the simplest, most effective practice – and even more so the unleashing of each individual’s inner highest self allowing the most enjoyment.

In my personal experience, all activations and clearing has been obtained through dancing, psychedelics, communication between consciousness and body, communication with our local star, and spontaneous activations by space-beings.  Formal spiritual empowerment is a relatively new thing, and I’m excited to give it full receptivity.  Today I’m receiving a Red Tara empowerment from a lama in Santa Fe, followed by a new moon crystal toning with one magic school creator called Planewalker (yes that’s his psytrance DJ pseudonym.)  Energy streaming from the southwest to the power-spots and power-rangers of MTL!


Today’s energy is Blue Resonant Night – the energy of the blue night envelopes me with warmth and security, a space within which I’m free to imagine the most beautiful, magnificent scenarios and ways to bring them into fruition without apprehension in “possibility” and supposed material obstacles.  The dreamfield is our imagination, creating scenarios for attention to observe and create in our innerverse, thus also giving us a place to analyze and evaluate reality and the environment and social system within which we live.  Becoming a conscious dreamer is courage in believing in the wildest fantasies, and boldly striving forward with true creativity, being true to ourselves.  While the term “dream” most often refer to the phenomena of experience while asleep, the conscious dreamer realizes creation and manifestation of experience in “real-life”.

A suggested meditation for today: crawl into a safe-warm space and rest your body.  Imagine a dark, clear sky, moon and stars.  Imagine yourself between the sky and what seems like Earth, and begin to slowly shift your perspective down towards the Earth – the inhabitants of this Earth are of similar evolutionary development as us, but each and every person is joyful, creative, and individually unique, authentic, yet cohesive as community.  This visualization of this Earth lies super-imposed on top of the current reality of Earth, and between the two realities is Time.  Time and energy is the most effective way for material beings to manipulate reality… Daydreaming is an essential part of straying from old thought-patterns and experiential habits.  Allow yourself to imagine yourself as any being you please, filling your time and utilizing your energy in bringing our current reality into the one we imagine to be Heaven on Earth, for ourselves and all others.


Cosmic love & infinite bliss,

Xi 🐦

162. White Wind :: Farewell to Doubt

Sunny afternoon dear Star-Tribe;

My favourite snap from yesterday ^
I thought I’d be chanting and getting high off mantras in the temple yesterday, but Baba had other plans for me.  In the early afternoon I met new friends in the kids village, Sam and his three half Chinese daughters.  He asked me where I was born, I told him between Mongolia and North Korea, he told me that my ancestors were reindeer nomad people, and that I was a Shaman woman.  Before I could express my uncertainty with the use of term “Shaman” to him, he continued to say that the word Shaman derives from a northern Asian language Evenki – which ultimately derived from sanskrit word श्रमण (śramaṇá) roughly meaning exhausted monk.  Skye told me that if I left in the middle of the festival then I wouldn’t be allowed back in.  For a moment I became fearful of the Guru, doubting in my own will and judgement – but decided that fear of the Guru is bullshit.  I asked Baba if it was alright to leave Bhandara, he said something along the lines of “choose your adventure.”  I was bored of chanting sanskrit mantras, so off I went.  When I arrived at their humble adobe house, my jaw dropped as I realized that these living conditions, some even far worse, are a reality for many people on Earth.  He said: “you grew up in China right? so you’ll be alright sleeping on the floor with us.”  Sam was exhausted from having baked bread all week to make enough money to feed his family.  We smoked some weed and his eyeballs moved around like a space-being.
To me when people of white wind energy show up in my life it signifies the beginning of new projects, the arrival of momentum necessary to carry out the physical manifestation of these projects.  The wind carries messages for us to receive from our companions and the universe.  When we take a conscious breath, the wind brings refreshing awareness.

It may come to you as a surprise that I’ve suddenly begun to write to you in such an intense manner.  I’m deciding to relax a little bit… I hope you excuse my excessive feelings of urgency.  Each day I see more and more clearly the depth and amount of work there is to do here, and growing skeptical of traditional spiritual teachings which mostly state that buddhahood and enlightenment can only be achieved at time of death after decades of meditation and chanting to some obscure Guru sent here from the heavens.  I think it’s silly and dangerous to take away all responsibility from each and every individual to find their own soul, essence, being, GOD, and outdated by only a few thousand years… Which is NOT an arduous, laborious task that’s going to take decades, in fact with dedication and sincerity opens up a portal for all to ENJOY life in the 3D which is why it exists.  How silly for spiritual advancement to become a serious task?

One more pet peeve surrounding spiritual matters is obsession with the word “enlightenment” and total disregard for the fact that the body is such a brilliant piece of art and not something we entered just so that we can learn how to leave it again through devoting all our time in it to practices.
Alas my friends, I’m very tired and very grateful and very blissed out and remain in constant fascination.
Xi 🐦

161: Red Dragon :: Establishing Trust

Good morning Peace-Brigade!

We begin our 20-days of transmissions with the Red Resonant Dragon energy, I dedicate this day to purification, cultivation of kundalini energy, using our internal fires to burn away thought-forms, blockages and habits that doesn’t bring us happiness and enjoyment.  The Red Dragon is connected to the Root Chakra, helping us establish trust in our abilities to navigate the world and provide us with security and nourishment. In my personal experience, people of Red Dragon energies bring me higher awareness of my body, enhancing the feeling of unity of all my cells, creating a sense of entirety – moving all parts simultaneously – coherency makes the body feel lighter, connection between mind and body becomes clearer, thinner (ref: mushrooms, veteran use of ketamine)
Inline image 1

Last night I read a book on Dzogchen practices (which felt eerily familiar) – according to this master of lineage, Dzogchen is practiced in 13 different solar systems, the information is downloaded by masters who “were born from higher dimensions” or “deities” incarnate.  When not referred to as Lamas, Masters or Gurus, new-age terminology simply refer to them as “aliens” 😅.  The texts transmit awareness of our different bodies, physical, subtle and consciousness, which is essentially the key to enlightenment and liberation, as awareness of our wholeness – self-realization – is ultimately simply that!
It’s become apparent that my life up to this point has been a thorough preparation for the bodhisattva work I’ve come to Earth to do.  I believe that this is what we’ve all come here to do, and I’m overjoyed that our game-plan this time is way more exciting than previous missions (for example monasteries, restriction, secrecy, spiritual sensationalism…)  I believe that music, dancing and “retreat” festivals entirely of our design are the experiential healing modality that we will be working on.  Conscious, mindful, activated guides of psychedelic drug use included.  This sort of revolutionary spiritual work is extremely exciting and our reality!  What an exciting time to be alive?!  With the technology and social situation we have at hand this time around, I’d say this is way more stimulating than being on mountains meditating (which is also really fun and we should all do it together sometime… maybe many times.)  There simply is no better meditation in aligning all our bodies than through Dance.  It is the most powerful way we can share our energies with others.  It’s also probably the most fun way.  I don’t think our shared interest in raves and dance rituals is obsolete, and together we’ve done enough research to know exactly what needs to shift, evolve, expand and – become. – ! \ 😂 / !
The story of my awakening has been enchanting.  I’d like to share it with you all, in person will be better.  It’s taken me over a year to integrate this reality, the possibility of being one of these “aliens” arriving on Earth with some sort of modality to alleviate suffering.  There were moments when it dawned on me that I might have to meditatite for 10 years (I’d submit if that’s what is required of me) but that just doesn’t sound like fun.  I don’t personally believe that enlightenment is when you meditate to such a high plane that you dematerialize altogether… I think that’s even a bit backwards cause we all incarnate in physical bodies because we like sensuality, we like sweet tastes and gentle caresses and fragrant smells… if we wanted to dematerialize we’d just die and go back to being universal energy…
It’s a funny experience, being at the stage of being 21 years-old in the lifetime of a “Guru”.  Thank the Heavens it’s this time-period of self-liberation and self-becoming-deity – The idea of being a Guru in the traditional sense makes me cringe a little bit.. 😜 The most appealing life-experience to me at this time is being with you all and developing the craziest, ascension oriented, cosmic energy blasting social technologies!
It’s really feels like walking right into a higher dimension… Effortlessly… As if we’d planned this all along…
I wish to empower you with excitement for our 5th dimensional existence (transmission in person soon!) and TRUST in our galactic heritage and wisdom, power, awareness that we already have!  You are my siblings, I feel as a sister who’s had the right circumstances and fluidity in life to be able to respond to spontaneous activations, and who now has undergone enough anchoring and integration of higher-dimensional existence to now be completely at your service in your own complete purifications and full-activations.
I still can’t believe that this trip has turned into a research project in discovering direct correlations between “ancient” texts and aliens, and our galactic journey.  Life is too AWESOME?!
That’s all for today – tomorrow is the festival – 24H of collective chanting dedicated to purification and heart-opening… aided by the energy of the Red Dragon – I’ll be channeling this energy to you MTL posse!  Meditate in the evening time to receive maximum benefit!  If I had more money I would buy you all a moon-stone to charge through the trip, but instead I will charge a large quartz and relay the energies to your crystals at a later time… Should there be some monies that could be sent my way, I’d be ecstatic to be able to pick up gifts on the trip… 😉
CRAZY LOVE & INFINITE BLISS & Forever giggles !
Xi 🐦